Friday, April 28, 2006


Huh? What did he say?

One of my activities is serving on the board of directors for a local anti-poverty organization. Sometimes I have trouble understanding what is being said, because so much of the talk is in a weird language that uses elements of sociology, business-ese, government gobbledegook, and probably a few other arcane fields. Some of the vocabulary is so complicated it makes Scott McClellan's weasel-wording sound clear and concise.

Here’s something I found on the web about jargon:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

'Using the Poultry Integration model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experience to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

'Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinery of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

'The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was stragetically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.'

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