Sunday, January 06, 2008


Jesus Christ on crank!

Jesus Christ on crank: I'm so fucking tired, already, of the candidates blathering at the TV cameras. No, I didn't watch the debates. Fuck the debates. They aren't debates, really: they're just set pieces, advertising bites. There's as much truth in them as there is in a car salesperson's pitch for a slightly used 1995 Oldsmobile Turtle. You can't even trust the price.

Romney. Obama. Clinton. Huckabee, oh god, Huckabee. Romney rushing to reassure us that he believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ. There will be no religious test for office, my ass! The Protestants have taken over the country and we better get used to it. Obama, the cool kid on the make, charismatic but what's in there? We know what's in Hillary Clinton: she's like a walking computer. McCain? Well, he's at least got a steady personality that he lets hang out. Huckabee is just fucking scarey. He's the really really nice guy who'll do whatever it takes to you to save your soul, including burning you at the stake to get you to recant.

Fuck. It's no worse, I guess, than having Woodrow Wilson and Andrew Jackson running against each other. If you add Cotton Mather and William Jennings Bryan and George Custer into the race.

What you see up there on the dais really isn't what you get, except in terms of shallowness and mendacity. And what you hear isn't important.

What is important is the war against Islam. The economy, it's been on steroids so long it's about to collapse. Corruption in D.C.—but, enough of that! Let's get to something really important, like John Edwards' hair!!

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